Like all good-hearted football fans, I hate Brett Favre. I hate him for giving Packer fans a reason to be even more insufferable. I hate him for his bizzaro-LeBron act, in which he annually summons a media circus over his indecision. I hate him for the year he spent getting non-jokingly called the Jets’ MVP, despite being easily and consistently the worst starter the team had at any position. I hate him for every time I’ve heard an announcer drool about how much heart was in the latest Favre pass to hit the cornerback right in the numbers. I hate that he takes a minute and a half to say three words. I hate him for the fact that I can’t look at Tom Waits without thinking of Brett Favre anymore. I lament his successes, and swell with glee at his every professional shortcoming.
I do not, however, care that he allegedly sent pictures of his cock to Jenn Sterger.
It was just last night that I was making half-in-the-bag assertions about Gawker Media being a giant boil on the ass of the Internet. How fitting that Deadspin, its sports property, chose today to break the “story” that apparently Brett Favre is into sexting. What, exactly, is the news item here? Pro athlete is creepy jerk? Man develops fondness for attractive woman who likes sports? I weep for society when I reflect that a large chunk of it evidently cares enough about Brett Favre’s masturbatory footwear for it to be newsworthy.
The Brett Favre’s Cock post has prompted arguments about journalistic integrity, because Deadspin took Jenn Sterger at her word about the pictures existing. I don’t care about that. I’m fine with the notion that A.J. Daulerio “did it the right way” (I imagine he also got his uniform dirty and played with heart), as long as we’re acknowledging that “it” refers to writing an article about Brett Favre’s cock.
I guess I’ll have to stop slagging Deadspin, though. As the annual “will Favre play another season?” drama was beginning to unfold this week, I asked “what could possibly be less interesting than Brett Favre’s refusal to make a decision?” Deadspin gave me a correct answer: his cock.
